Leaving India is like leaving an orgy.

It leaves you thrilled, exhausted and in need of a good wash. I feel a wistful summary coming on….

Things I loved about India
It’s a cliché, but India is where the past and the present live side-by-side. I agree.

In India, wisdom gained from the past endures. The 70’s porn playing card moustache survives. In fact it’s thriving. Jane Fonda aerobics videos are still shown on TV, in all their leotard, braces and big hair glory. These are traditions sadly dieing out in the West.

But it is also where you can enjoy the fruits of modernity. Big bottles of Kingfisher are 50p each in some states. Bacardi Breezers are 70p. And they’ve got Lychee flavour, which I hadn’t seen before.

Thank heavens for Progress.



Things I loathed
Westerners dressed like Indians. You ain’t Ghandi, get it off. You are a student from Surrey. The Indians are laughing at you. I am laughing at you.

Westerners not dressed like Indians. Just because you went to Hampi and I didn’t, doesn’t mean you can start acting all like superior. Look, I'm not showing any interest in what you are saying and yet you are still talking. You went to the Himalayas did you? So did I. But you went higher? Right. Please stop talking. I cannot bare it.

And while I'm at it, can everybody please stop taking photos of fruit stalls and people cooking?



So yes, leaving India is just like leaving an orgy. The memories, photos and the infections will stay with us for a long long time....



Some day, all banks will have a coffin shaped entrance.